Twilight vs. Harry Potter: Part Two

Don't you love it when something forces you to have such a strong opinion, and you can't help but think about it all the time? Whenever anyone preaches the opposite of one of my relentless views I always feel sorry that they are so stupid, blind and wrong. But not everything makes me feel so protective of my reasoning and logic, and although most of the subjects I am persistent on are sometimes dark or hateful, I still love feeling so unyielding towards it. I love to debate and I love to rant (obviously), so I love it when I find something that satisfies my hate in every single way and makes me positive that every negative point I have against it are justified. One of these things is the series called Twilight. I read those four published atrocities, and have since witnessed the rise in it's popularity, but it seemed like I was the only one left confused. Have these people ever read Jane Austen? Charles Dickens? Margaret Atwood? Mark Twain? Can they not see what a disgrace Twilight is to the creative stages literature has been through? That is the difference between Twilight and Harry Potter: good writing.

Only an idiot could read Twilight and love it. Stephen King, who's published over 50 books and has received countless awards for his work, had this to say of the comparison between J.K. Rowling and Stinky Mormon, "The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good." And it is so true. The plot has so much potential, but miraculously seems to flop in every single way. Oh VAMPIRES? Cool! But they're vegetarian, they sparkle and they go to a regular high school...oh. BUT WAIT! Enemy vampires!!!!??!! Oh, but when they come they are either drawn off by a force field, or Bella just faints and when she wakes up, all gone! So a regular girl falls in love with a vampire??? AWESOME!!! Oh...the girl is totally dependent and has no personality, just like all the other characters due to the stupid author who can't creative write for shit and therefore doesn't know how to develop characters at all. Damn. Twilight is SUCH a disappointment in ALL ways. (P.S. You know a book is shit when it doesn't challenge your vocabulary ONCE or even a little bit. This is a person who majored in the English language? I DON'T THINK SO! (oh, wait...she studied in the States. Right.))

In Harry Potter, it's funny if you reread them from the beginning and see how young Harry and pals acted, and how much they have developed and matured with each year. In Twilight, it doesn't matter how much Bella ends up being with the Cullen family, after reading four books I still couldn't tell you any key points to any of their personalities. Esme? The mom? And she talks. Carlisle? I think he was supposed to be some badass that used to be in the Volturi, but I couldn't tell you any of his traits if you pointed a gun at my face. He's a doctor, but he's a vampire. That's as deep as that goes, so I guess you can assume he's nice? Emmett? He makes a joke or two sometimes. Favorite things? Hobbies? General air and presence? NO IDEA! Rosalie? Nope. Alice? Annoying because she's supposed to have a personality but when you're a loser all your life its hard to write a free, happy-go-lucky character if you've never had a friend or a conversation with relatable ways. So, she talks alot to Bella? I need some help, cause I'm starting to realize ALL of them have no personalities and are generally the same concept with minor changes in the words that they say.

Just give me ONE character from Harry Potter, and I can go on about them forever. Okay, here's an example. Ron Weasley. He's poor, comes from a big, old wizarding family. He has 6 other siblings and because of that often feels overlooked. He's also best friends with Harry, so I guess that doesn't really help, given Harry's the most famous wizard of modern times. He hates spiders, he loves Quidditch and his favorite team is The Chudley Cannons. He had a pet rat which was a hand me down from his brother Percy. He's jealous, sometimes obnoxious and big mouthed. He's witty but quick tempered. Hes' also a good brother, since he's protective of Ginny, but also, as I mentioned, jealous and quick to judge. His favorite foods are bacon and sausage. He's got red hair, freckles and a long nose (unlike in the movie). I can name all of his family members, along with his first cousins, grandparents and distant cousins, but just saying that proves enough. He wants to be an Auror when he grows up, like Harry, but if he had never met Harry and had to have all those magical adventures, I think he'd like to be a pro Quidditch player (Seeker).

Bella. She used to live in Tuscan with her mom, but left cause her mom was moving with her boyfriend. She doesn't like to exercise, respect her dad or make any friends. She likes guys who are white and good looking. She is ready to drop everything in her life after realizing a hot guy likes her after....a week? If Edward leaves she can go 3 months doing nothing at all. She wants to be a vampire because Edward is, and then they can be together forever! Her favorite hobbies are trying to convince Edward to have sex with her. In her spare time she likes to take care of her baby. She dislikes any mention of anything relatively considered intimate. I do not know if she has any cousins, grandparents or an ounce of personality. If you do, please inform me, for I haven't read Twilight as much as Harry Potter, strictly because I find it cruel and unusual punishment to put myself through that again.

Twilight pales in comparison to Harry Potter in every way. Twilight is also a fantasy novel, but everything to it's settings, it's rules of Vampirism and all it's characters are underdeveloped and even contradicting at times. So, the general quality of the book is far less than Harry Potter, and almost every other published novel for that matter. The difference between Harry Potter readers and Twilight readers is intelligence. Because Twilight was written by a STUPID person, it appeals to people with stupidity of equal or greater quantity. (Which, unfortunately, far surpasses the amount of intelligent people in the world, which is why a book as poorly written as Twilight can get so big. It's also why a person like George W. Bush can be elected president.)
The reason I name these articles Twilight vs. Harry Potter, and not Harry Potter vs. Twilight, is because Harry Potter is on such a higher level than Twilight, that it needs not be compared with Twilight, but it is Twilight that has to be compared to it.

P.s. Just incase you read this and think I'm another Twilight hater just trying to push Harry Potter, it's not true. I went into the series expecting good things, and was incredibly dissapointed. I read all the time and have read lots of classics as well as modern novels. I've never read anything as badly written as Twilight, and I've read HUNDREDS of novels.

Twilight vs. Harry Potter: Part One

A couple years ago I saw this article in the newspaper about these girls that were so excited because the last book of the Twilight series was coming out. They were all dressed up in weird fairy costumes dancing around and they were ALL girls. And in the interview someone had the audacity to say that Twilight was the NEW Harry Potter. Needless to say, this invoked some strong emotions in me since I am the biggest Harry Potter fan to ever live. I'm also a huge bookworm so I was kinda excited. A book being compared to Harry Potter? I thought it must be EXTREMELY good to ever be mentioned in the same sentence with my dearest Harry Potter. So what did I do? I went out and bought the first twilight book, took it home, and read it. And then I read the next one. And the next. I read all of them, and the only thing that got my through it was the HATE! I COULD NOT believe it! Not only were the books boring, predictable and totally sickening, they were so poorly written! I had to check the back and see who the hell wrote this mess! I still don't believe that Stephanie Myers even went to University. I mean, surely not! How this book even got published...! It just beats me. Anyways, while I was reading the books I would constantly take breaks just to turn to my boyfriend and rant about everything wrong with...everything! First of all, let's take the very under-developed character of Bella, who seems to have no need for a personality. She moves in with her Dad in a new town and is worried because she's never had friends and she's described as a "soft" person who hates exercise. And the word "soft" was ACTUALLY used. So at first you get an image of this average, rolly polly girl with no friends. Ok, fine nothing wrong with that. But then, when she goes to school...EVERYONE loves her and unrealistically fights to be her friend. Okay...wait what? It's all explained with the fact that her dad's a cop there so...I mean obviously all the teenagers would be bending over backwards to be the cop's kids friend. Hmmm? Then comes Edward the super stalker who is also a Mormon in disguise. He hates music? and only listens to classical and declares that the worst musical eras are the 60's and 70's. Right there I knew I didn't like this guy, even before you find out he watches Bella in her sleep before they've even uttered one word to one another. So the hottest guy in the town falls for the boring loser which in turn makes her even more boring and an even bigger loser. She decides to rebel against her overly nice father-who, by the way, gave her a CAR- and ditch all of her friends to hang out with Edward and have pillow talks about how much they love each other. Yup, seriously that's basically as fast as how it happenes. I like you. I like you too. Now let's talk about how we'll love each other forever and die together. I don't care that your a ...*gasp* gay vampire. Yes, a gay vampire. Because only a gay vampire would live for over a century, never getting laid and going back to highschool over and over again. Then the rest of the series gets complicated with the Volturi wanting to eat the soft loser because she knows too much! So in each book there's a build up of bad guys going- I'm gonna get her! and then at the last minute Bella passes out and when she wakes up...everythings solved! Like...WHAT!? I mean, I can't say that Twilight is a bad idea because it's great idea. There's so much she could have done with it..but did not. First, it's a slap in the face for any self respecting woman with an inkling of self esteem. She leaves her entire life for this guy. The first people to befriend her in her life, her dad, her mom! And in the second book he leaves her and theres like 50 blank pages for the 3 months that she's all depressed in. Even her dad's like...it's like your dead. Is it really THAT bad? That you won't get murdered by a gang of vampires while putting a whole family of gay vampires in danger. You have a new car, new friends! Oh wait, sorry you ditched them in the first book! Boo hoo! So instead of trying to get over herself, she starts to hallucinate about Edward to make herself believe that he's watching everything that she does. *PUKE* What if he didn't come back?- some may ask. Well, there is no doubt in my mind that she would kill herself and most of the world would rejoice. But unfortunately...oh wait he doesn't! she has to go get him cause he thinks shes dead. Too bad. But the rest of the series is the same..throw in a werewolf who's supposed to bring some drama but doesn't because oddly enough...he's the only person that makes sense in the whole series, so all he adds is some good burns on Bella for what a big retard she is. But he likes her? Why...I cannot say. Then the whole things ends with a big throw down with the volturi. But, a final fight scene that could save the series doesnt happen because?? Vampire Bella uses a force sheild and they all scatter so she can live happily ever after with her baby with the most ridiculous name and super Mormon stalker. The End. Oh, and of course the soft, plain girl ends up looking like a "super model" with her new vampire DNA. Is it just me or does this whole thing scream pathetic loser to you. I just know that the author is a fat loser who probably married her first boyfriend and has no concept of love and relationships. And alot of the dialogue makes no sense, as if this author doens't have a lot of experience talking to people or having close friends. Like, when Bella and Edward are married and come back from their honeymoon, Emmet makes very tame jokes about them having sex and they get super embarrased and angry and they have a "serious" arm wrestle so that Emmet wont be allowed to ever mention sex to them again. And I couldn't make this shit up. Anyways, I feel much more obligated to rip on Twilight since I actually read all the books but, I could go on forever so I'll make this Part One. So, in conclusion, Harry Potter wins. Twilight is BY FAR the WORST book I have EVER read in my WHOLE life. That includes everything unpublished I've ever read, including bad essays by highschool students I've had to edit. HOrrible.
By the way: all Twilight books read by me after the first were downloaded, NOT purchased.