These Darn Whippersnappers!

Apparently people have been all in a buzz about the recent antics of a classy young lady by the name of Miley Cyrus. Miley is a Disney T.V. star who got famous playing Hannah Montana on that classic show we all know and love, Hannah Montana. Just like all the other Disney T.V. stars before her, she was absolutely riveting and obviously, when the show ended, it was only natural that she would continue to invade our lives with that angelic, soothing voice of hers. And, of course, make movies with her Dad, who is, I believe, ALMOST as talented as she. But that was before, because Miley doesn't even live with her Dad anymore! She's moved on to much bigger and older things! She is now in the process of revealing to the world just how sexually frustrated she was during her Disney times, and how now it all needs to come out in the open. On National T.V. In front of millions. Because, as a 17 year old girl who just discovered she likes penis, this is the smartest thing to do and she definitely won't regret it in a year or two.

First, she did a photo shoot where she showed her bare back (!) with just a sheet covering up the rest. I didn't think it was all that bad, I really didn't care. Because, honestly, I hate knowing about celebrities, and I try to give them the benefit of the doubt until it's impossible for me not to admit they're a douche. *cough*KanyeWest*cough* Then she started dressing sexy and made a video with her as a bird in a cage wearing lingerie. Again, I didn't care. I mean, yeah it's kinda weird that she's my youngest sister's age, so it kinda creeps me out thinking she's showing the goods to the kind of people that like 17 year old girls. Not good, but again, that's her prerogative. So, it was sort of mentioned in a conversation I was having where I was told that before she had released a bunch of "sexy" pictures of her in a bathing suit and other slinky things online, that she was dating a 20year old at the age of 15 and that she moved out of her parents house and is living with her boyfriend at 16. Again, in a normal world this would mean she would be a Senior in highschool.

I'm gonna admit, 17 wasn't long enough ago for me to forget how I was at 17, so I totally understand her behaviour. You are definitely confused and overly sexual around that age, of course, but there should be a filter that most people interpret as: their parents. Wouldn't your mom or dad just KILL you if you went on T.V. in less than a bathing suit singing about how all the guys give you "mad attention"? Even if they do...your parents! She's not even legal in Quebec!(18) And especially not in the States. And I know she's all hormoned out, but she was JUST a Disney star. You need some kind of calm before the storm! You can't go from having a kiddie line in Sears to flashing 80% of your vagina on award shows! And again, you're only appealing to people who like 17 year old girls! Everyone else thinks it's inappropriate and gross; why do it? You're not even getting positive feedback! Oh, but it's who she is now so leave her alone! HA! What a teen.

No one can say they didn't do stupid things at 17, but nobody was as stupid as Miley Cyrus to let the whole world see. If you're such a good actor, maybe you should try and act less like a douche, then maybe you'll realize that your new fan base will be just a bunch of balding, creepy middle-aged men.-->I had to include this picture! Look at the girl on the right of the stripper, she's thinking just like me. "Uhh...this is weird. Too far."

Please, Edward Me

Just came across a blog today that was talking about how Twilight ruins lives. Apparently girls who don't deserve to be called woman are actually leaving their relationships because it pales in comparison to the perfect Edward Cullen. Wait...are you kidding me?!?!? No joke, a guy made a comment that said he'd been with his girlfriend for 7 years! and they had just bought a house together until....TWILIGHT! dum dum dummmm! Which made her leave him. Another guy wrote he was scared because his girlfriend was reading Twilight and would regularily question him with things like, "Why aren't you more like Edward?" or, "Why can't you be romantic like Edward?" and even, "Why don't you have golden eyes and sparkling skin like Edward?" I am forever confused.

For anyone out there who actually knows and loves literature, I beg of you to go and read Twilight and tell me what you think, because I am beginning to feel like a crazy person. Not only is the entire events portrayed garbage, the writing! Oh god the writing is SOOOOOOOOOOO sososososososoooo BAD! But of course, that doesn't matter to too many people when Edward is saying things like, "Look after my heart; I've left it with you."
This book is basically the insecure girl's BIBLE. Of course you're super hot and desirable by everyone when you've been convinced your entire life that you're ugly, plain and out of shape. Of course everyone wants to be your friend when you were thinking you've never had friends before due to your lack of personality. And of course the hottest guy will have waited 100 years for you, is super rich, ever-lasting and, most importantly, prefers brunettes. What? A man who isn't attracted to good looking peole with fun personalities? I guess there is someone out there for me! (Says the millions of 13 year old girls everywhere)

The fact that Twilight is a love story and is most popular with adolescent kids says a lot to me. The book never one time shows any real example of love. And they are so BORING! Edward talks like an Encyclopedia. "Oh Bella, I've noticed that you are menstrating, and I was pondering whether or not it'd be appropriate if I could extirpate the blood throughout the entire process...into my mouth."
"Edward, you're not supposed to know I have a vagina! God, I'm so embarrased."
"If I could dream, I'd dream of you. I'm not ashamed."
That conversation has more substance than any in the book though. Oh well, I guess creativity can only be lowered a certain amount on request. Damn.

I thought reading the books was bad, but this obsession every teenage girl feels towards it is driving me insane. We get it, your going through puberty, you're at the stage where you hate and doubt yourself, yet at the same time you're horny, and ashamed of being horny. A guy like Edward coming along giving you the idea that you have a chance at anything like him is obviously very appealing to people who:
1. Have never been in love (and in a relationship that verifies that love)
2. Have never had sex (real sex with someone who loves you back)
3. Have never been happy with their looks and body (!!!!!!!!)
And unfortunately, this relates to A WHOLE LOT of people. This is what our world is comprised of. Scared? I am. Seriously, I really am. I know I've got some serious worries when I can read something like, "When he told me his doctor's name was Cullen, I instantly thought of 22 different ways I could injure myself." or "I used all my college money to buy a Volvo. My parents don't know."

Twilight doesn't just ruin lives. It is single-handedly diminishing the intelligence of millions.