Raging Hormones

Isn’t it weird how greatly our raging hormones can take hold of us and spiral us down a path we never would have approached had we been in our right mind? I find it extremely interesting, especially since I’ve been a victim of my hormones on many different occasions. Right now, I think I’m going through a stage that’s just confusing the shit out of me. For over a month now, all I can think of are babies. For no reason, just one day I got infatuated with the idea of a cute little baby.
I don’t want a baby, not now at least. I already have a dog and even he would be impossible for me to take care of if my boyfriend wasn’t co-parenting, which I guess goes for babies too. Actually, there is no doubt in my mind that I am completely not ready to even think of having babies for at least another couple of years. But, that hasn’t stopped my obsession. All of a sudden, I’m noticing babies everywhere, and I can’t even stop myself from cooing at their cuteness. I’ve never felt this way before, it’s like my logical brain completely shuts down for a moment, that I’ve actually been having internal fights with myself. I’ll be thinking of babies, and then all the sudden I switch on and go, “What the hell are you thinking? Are you crazy?” in which I respond, “Probably.” It got so bad that one month my period was late I was secretly wishing that I was pregnant, even though I knew I couldn’t be! I wasted money on pregnancy tests even, pretending that I’m devastated when really, I was hoping by some miracle it’d come out positive and my excuse would just be, “whoops, guess we have to have a baby now!” I’ve been trying to figure out what it means; is it because my body is at its most fertile? Is it because I’m in a steady relationship and my mind is automatically jumping to the next step? I’m not sure, but I’m not succumbing to it. It also made me realise, maybe I’m not the only one. Maybe that’s why some people too young find becoming a mom attractive, and actually go through with the pregnancy until they give birth and realise…shit. 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom have become my new favourite shows throughout this whole weird ordeal, and I made a point to watch every single episode, as well as go searching for any other baby related entertainment. I guess it gives me the baby fix I yearn for without actually having to give birth. It’s the weirdest thing because I realise how weird it is, but I can’t stop. I feel like I need to be around a baby or just hug a baby or something. Ah, the bane of being a female. Of course, I can’t wait to have children, but I want to be able to support them fully, not bring them into my living paycheck-to-paycheck life. I feel sort of frustrated that I’m wasting time thinking of babies that won’t come any time soon, but at the same time, it gives me that time to think and plan and make a logical decision instead of just…getting pregnant. So, my solution to the problem was to buy a notebook, and devote it too all of my baby thoughts. If I ever begin to think of them, I bring it out and write it down. It works! I’m happy to say, my obsession has subsided to just a stage of my life I’ll be excited for when the time comes, and my boyfriend is very relieved I’ve stopped planning our future children.

Crazy Kids

What's with these crazy kids lately? In the news there have been all these stories about 16 year olds killing each other over their differences. One kid got shot in the face when he went to answer the door, and another was stabbed during a fight and died in the hospital. I'm just wondering, when did it go from schoolyard bullying to committing murder?

Obviously, we all had issues when we were 16, and most of us can say we've been in a fist fight or two, but guns? Knives? Do you ever remember kids in Grade 10 who had guns to play with? Remember how small we were at 16? Seriously, go step into a highschool now that you've been out for a while and revel at how small they are! It's soo sad that a petty fight at that age could end a child's life, for they are still legally children! But the more serious concern is not that a young kid with raging hormones can commit murder, but that he can get very effective tools to do so.
I know that as humans, we are sometimes find ourselves very conflicted. We could get into the hugest fight of our life over who ate the last piece of pie, and alot of us can't deny that we've uttered a statement like, "I'm going to kill you!" at one time, but that doesn't mean we would actually do it! So, don't you think it's more likely that a young person actually WOULD do it because of their general lack of knowledge and understanding of life? Do you think they consider the victim's family, or their future? Do you think they pre-meditate whether this enemy could be the future Prime Minister? Or a scientist? Surgeon? Or even just a loving father? Do you think it's fair for a 16 year old to determine the outcome of another person's life? It must be much too easy to obtain a gun if a highschool student is killing the kids he has a disagreement with. And, why do you think it even came to this? Since when are kids able to do something so serious and adult over any 16 year old issue???
Just to put in my two-cents, I completely, and always will, blame the parents. Of course, I'm not saying the parents are telling their kids to go out and kill, but they are obviously not instilling serious morals in their children if they are mentally healthy and able to kill another human being. Both of these kids also lived in bad Toronto areas, and I know nobody lives there if they don't have to. Presumably, their parents are not so prominent in their lives because they have to work an average of two jobs in that area. So, do you think a parents lack of presence can have serious affects on a child's mental state? Hell yes!
I don't care what you say, if you're child commits murder at 16, as a parent, you have completely and utterly FAILED!

Facebook/Twitter/MySpace

It seems like everyone is tweeting and facebooking these days! I can't even get ahold of friends unless I write on their "wall". And what's with people asking you to follow them? Do I really wanna be constantly updated on your every thought throughout the day? And Facebook is creepy. You post pictures and people spend all day long looking through every one, even the blooper shots which people put on their profiles anyways for some reason. And when you type in your name or a friends name on Google, not only do they come up, but so does their school name, resident city, and pictures from what they did last night. Is that not a little inappropriate? Suddenly everyone thinks their shit smells like roses and they want everyone to know every detail of their lives. I call it the Pity Case. Do you think 20 years ago people would go on TV and tell everyone that their parents had to file for bankruptcy and that's why they should be the next American Idol? We live in a time where everyone whores out their problems and their life for recognition. Even I must whore out my opinion just to be relevant enough to have people who are internet whores maybe come across this and ponder. Do you ever wonder if what's important to you was ever important to people 10 years from now? 50 years from now? Some of the most popular sites on the internet are devoted to showing embarassing pictures of celebrities while they poke fun at them.

So what is important to people who don't tweet or facebook, and how can they relate when the rest of people their age use these things hourly on a daily basis? I wanted to ask what do you find important to you that has seemed to have taken a backseat to the new internet phenomenons? Current issues? Cooking and recipes? Housekeeping? Drug Use? It could be anything. But I think I need to have someone out there tell me that I'm not strange for thinking that any communication past a phone call is just too impersonal for me.

Depressed and Pregnant

Yesterday there was a new study they were reporting on the news that confused me. They were talking about the risks of having a miscarriage. Apparently, every time someone gets pregnant, there's a 20% chance they'll have a miscarriage. The new study that came out carried this flabbergasting statement: taking anti-depressants while pregnant cane lead to a higher risk of a miscarriage. When taking anti-depressants, the probability of a miscarriage goes up over 10%! Wait...what? Why in the hell would you be taking prescription drugs when your pregnant? Better yet, why would you take ANY kind of drug when your pregnant? Your fetus is NOT depressed! It doesn't need anti-depressants! I mean, I don't know much about depression cause I'm not depressed. But if you really NEED to take medication, and it's a question of life or death, then how about you don't poison an innocent person and doom them to live with disabilities their entire life. I cannot think of anything more selfish than a person who abuses their body during pregnancy. Like, people who smoke pregnant. Okay, I understand. I used to smoke and I know that when you're a smoker you are actually addicted. But being pregnant doesn't last forever. If you can't do something that important for your child for a limited amount of time, what kind of parent are you going to be anyway? And, excuse me for saying this but if you're so depressed that you're in need of drugs to aid you through everyday life...why are you having kids? Cause it's obviously gonna be an awesome life for them? Having kids is stressful, especially babies who cry all day and night and you're...depressed. Sounds like a match made in heaven. And people are so appalled when they hear a mother killing all her kids or something. I think that there are just some people who should never, EVER have kids. If your gonna teach your kids to hate a certain group of people, commit crimes and join your parents in the KKK...your shouldn't have kids. If you're a known child molester then you shouldn't even have to option to have kids. If your abusive, incredibly ignorant and vile...DON'T have kids! I feel so bad for the people who come out and say that they were abused or molested and it's messed them up forever...I just could never have a child unless I knew that I had at least SOME means of taking care of them, not just the bare necessities. I want them to be able to say- I wanna do karate! and I'll have to funds to do it. Why have a baby when you know the life you'll give them will be shit? But, it's a Catch-22. There are some people who acheive greatness because there were forced to go to such dark places in their life...but usually those people are strange and damaged. But still, if unfit parents never had their kids there would be no Michael Jackson or Marvin Gaye. But when your kid comes out all deformed, I bet those Moms would have wished they had just taken a break from their vices.